From Calamity to Sanity Post Series - being above the line
Today’s book extract covers my favourite model - yes, even more favourite than SCARF. It is a little hard to know who to attribute this to as the original creator, but plenty of people have developed the idea further. Of those, Matt Church and Michael Henderson have had greatest impact on my thinking.
In every domain of life there's a line. Without needing to define it, we intuitively know where it is, and where we are in relation to it. We don't often talk about it, but you know the line exists; you know when you are above or below it, and you know for sure when you have crossed it.
Matt Church, Rise Up
So now that you have read this quote, I need do very little more to add to your understanding, this being the deep value of this model. What I will add, however, is that even children (middle elementary school age and above) understand this idea. I use it all of the time with my step-son William, and I didn’t need to explain the idea before using it.
The goal of the tools and processes I am preparing in this book is to lift each individual, and through that, the family to living above the line. Indeed, one of the explicit tools is an Above the Line journalling that can be downloaded by clicking the image below. This tool can be used by both adults and kids to self monitor and reflect against an identified behaviour. A one-page guide on how to use is can also be downloaded here.
I have used this chart with William at home to focus on learning behaviours, around asking learning questions, for example.. When we (including William) observes him asking learning questions, we mark this above the line. When a learning opportunity happens, and no question is asked, we mark the chart below the line. It’s a flexible tool - you can simply mark frequency, or you can measure magnitude. The key is to work with one target behaviour - and it’s ‘elevating’ and ‘sinking’ alternatives - at a time.
Interesting conversations often arise when you and your child independently observer and chart behaviours, The differences or similarities help strengthen the quality of the conversation. You can also gamify the chart, adding rewards and consequences depending on results. This, though, is far more effective when these outcomes are negotiated. We sometimes simply offer “If you finish the week above the line (total +/- score) then we have a gaming session together on Friday night.
The thing is, it starts with you. You cannot expect your kids to be operating above the line, no matter what defines the ‘border’, unless you, yourself are also above the line,. Some of the work you will need to do will be on yourself, and the journal page above works just as well for you.
Define this border that is most helpful for helping lift or lead the family over the line and beyond.
Identify what actions, resources and conditions you need to be above the line as much as possible.
Work on getting/doing what you need to be north of the line.
Feel free to download and play with the chart, and the underlying idea. Let me know if you have different approaches or modifications that help you adapt this tool to your own circumstance.
As a final comment, the charting document is only a tool to help you focus on one behaviour or action. In fact, you don’t really need this chart - simply asking the question of yourself, your child your family, your team or even your organisation: “Am I/Are you/Are we above the line at the moment?”. Chances are, you’ll know the answer immediately.
The two authors mentioned have books on this topic very much worth reading:
