Do you have a habitual way of dealing with those less-than-easy people in your team? This could be a problem for you, and here's how.

I position empathy as the foundation for any leadership.

When I ask people "what is empathy" the most common answers are "understanding the other person's feelings" or "walking in their shoes". Both are inadequate.

To know empathy, you need to understand self-awareness. We have known for some time that self-awareness is the bedrock of EQ, and here is why. Self-awareness emerges from the Salience Network in the brain, the neurology of noticing. 

Your Salience Network notices nuance, novelty, and non-compliance with established patterns. It is also most sensitive to discomfort.

This network is also like a switch, deciding between the paying of attention to the detected situation, or simply continuing in your habitual behaviours without a second thought.

So here's the thing. Empathy and self-awareness emerge from the same brain architecture. Arguably, they are the same artifact but focused on self or another.

So here are some provocations:
- The more self-aware you are, the more empathic you can be 
- Attention is the basis of all empathy
- You can't be empathic while in the middle of habit

Hence, my opening above.