❗️There is one question you could be asking that will supercharge your development and performance.

"What feedback can you give me?"

💥You see, most people have at least some sort of problem with receiving feedback - it activates the threat architecture in most brains.

Why? One way to answer this is to consider the SCARF model - Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness and Fairness. These represent 5 'channels' of threat or reward to which our social brains are sensitive.

Unrequested feedback delivered to us will trigger at least the Status, Certainty and Autonomy domains, maybe all. We can reduce the threat and significantly increase the value of feedback by taking control and asking for it ourselves.

"Would you mind giving me some feedback? It would be super helpful if you could let tell me how well, or not, you see the way I listen to others."

You have the chance to frame the feedback you need to the specific growth needs and goals you have. This will likely be far more useful and impactful than the usual situation of being the passive victim of "I have some feedback for you".

Further, leaders who seek feedback help normalise & embed a culture of feedback in their team, while the inherent vulnerability builds trust and reciprocity