Un-fearing Feedback
So here are two questions for you:
“Are you motivated to learn and grow?
Are you motivated to receive feedback?”
Chances are that you said yes to the first and no to the second. So what about this variation:
“Are you motivated to help others learn and grow?
Are you motivated, willing and skilled at giving them feedback?”
Again, your likely answers are yes to the first and no to the second. And yet, if you are a leader, an educator or a parent, you need to have a strong yes to both questions.
This is our great dilemma of creating the culture and conditions for growth, for without feedback we cannot grow. Solve this conundrum for yourself, your team or organisation and you unleash massive potential for deep learning and development.
I believe there are two key elements that underpin the fear and reluctance that surrounds feedback. The first is a general lack awareness and understanding of what our brains are doing. A great deal of work in social neuroscience has uncovered the mechanisms that drive the discomfort and threat associated from feedback, and this can now inform us. The second is a massive capability gap. Few people are highly skilled at giving feedback, yet those who are know both the process and the language to use in these situations.
For many of us, giving feedback is something akin to taking a bungee jump…
Understanding and mastery combine to present us with a real opportunity to leverage the potential of feedback. It’s a bit like this: imagine that bungee jumping, when done well, provides many benefits for many (if you are like me, it is probably a stretch to imagine any value with this sport). First, to be able to take the plunge you must master your fear. Your whole neurobiology is built to warn you that this is not a good idea, and for most, responds with a massive flight response. Run away, your brain screams.
But rising above the immersion of the fear, understanding what your brain is doing to you, you are far more capable of meeting and mastering the fear to the point where you can step up to the chasm in front of you.
At this point, technique and process become the important success factor. Jump badly, and you have a very uncomfortable journey. Learn to drop well, and you soar down through the ride.
As a leader of a feedback conversation you need to be aware of not only the biology of threat in your own brain, but also in the brain of your conversation partner. This need to manage more than one brain significantly ramps up the importance of deepening your knowledge of ‘everyday’ neuroscience. This practical knowledge, then, supports feedback success.
In response to the two demands of awareness and capability I have created a new and substantial online course that helps individuals ‘unfear’ feedback. Using brain-based mental models and processes, this program takes you though each step to support deep understanding and useable skills. Metacognitive learning design will help participants through engaging and practical content with ongoing learning via supplementary webinars and learning groups.
If, as it should be, the purpose of feedback is to trigger positive change and learning then it needs to ‘land’ in the brain of the recipient. Only then can reflection, insight and action combine to create growth. Yet our desire to be ‘nice’ and not upset others removes the learning opportunity and robs others of valuable growth.
So come and join me for a learning journey to become a feedback pro. Early bird (pre-release) pricing with a 40% discount available until 31 January 2020. Explore more information and the course curriculum here:
Un-fearing Feedback course information page
The course learning is strongly supported by a Facebook group and live webinars - join me for this unique chance to master this critical 21st century skill.
